Making a Decision is Hard

My time is limited.  I know that there are 24 usable hours in a day.  Using them all is not a sustainable long term approach. There is an intricate balance between getting enough sleep to function well and giving up sleep to accomplish life’s work. I may cheat sleep tonight with the intention of making it up tomorrow.  Inevitably, something unexpected happens and I am at a double loss. You never recover from those choices.

My mom says I am bad at making quick decisions but I think I am a great decision maker when it matters.  Menus can be overwhelming for me.  I know this won’t be a popular pronouncement, but I am not a foodie.  I love tacos but I hate to order them from a fancy place with lots of options.  I never met a taco I didn’t like.  Just give me a taco. I know buying brand name cereal is dumb because it is the most expensive.  However, walking up and down the aisle looking for the cheapest option also comes with a cost.  It’s quicker and easier to grab the Cheerios and move on.  We have so many options for every aspect of life, we are so inundated with choice, it can be paralyzing.  

I have so many projects on which I want to be working.  I started a podcast last year about the importance of getting started with a project.  I should have learned from that process. Once again, I find myself mired in the same project cycle, struggling to get started.  It’s so easy to get stuck choosing what to do first.  I might have inadvertently abandoned the podcast.  I have several LP’s worth of songs that I want to get recorded with the band.  I want to do a songwriter series that is going to require a ton of groundwork. I should be playing more live gigs.  The morning show requires time, but fortunately it is already started.  It is much easier to maintain an ongoing project than to start a new one. I might attack one of the studio projects because the time demand should be the lowest.  Cross it off the list and move on.  

I have this notion that as an “artist,” I am supposed to follow my artistic whims.  I should follow where the breezes blow to find my next project.  I should trust my instincts and do what feels important at the time.  I don’t work this way.  My time is limited.  When I carve out some time for creation, I have to force those artistic instincts into action.  It’s hard to get in tune with the creative flow and to know how to best use my precious time. I think I will try to be more quiet and calm during the day.  I will spend time listening to where my art is leading instead of stressing about prioritizing the most important or easiest option.  I will try to follow my art. I will let the song take the lead, instead of obsessing over an elaborate plan that I never start because it isn’t perfect.  It all comes back to picking one project and getting started. Just give me the tacos.  

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